Friday, 27 February 2015

The Reboot

Woah! It's been almost a year since I last posted anything. And 2014 has been a pretty memorable year. I got job offers from three companies, tried to start-up but hit a roadblock and also was filled with loads of self-pity. The last one was mostly in bouts and I was having one right now, and so instead of wallowing in self-pity, I thought I'd write about it. I'm writing all of this on a whim here so please bear with me.

So this past week has been extremely hectic, due to the responsibilities I brought upon my self because of my academic brilliance and the irresistible charm and aura that I give off (How not to be modest). I was made one of the "Department Coordinators" for my college's "Techno Management Fest" (air quotes) and I had to run around and make sure everybody's event was running smoothly. And today was finally the day I was supposed to be free and have time off to actually check out other events and maybe even participate in some. I even had a date! But alas it wasn't meant to be, because Glen Padua said some white lie ages ago and now karma was being a bitch!

When I removed my prosthesis yesterday evening, my stump was filled with pus in all the crevices, formed when the doctors played, "I wonder what this thing does". I cleaned it up and found a trio of blisters, each one bigger than the one next to it, reddish-yellow and ready to explode. And so I couldn't wear my prosthesis which meant I couldn't go to college, which meant I couldn't go on the date which I was really looking forward to, and I couldn't go home either. Although it sounds like a minor setback, these are the kind of incidents that lead to thoughts like, "Why me?" or "What did I do to deserve this?". That feeling that no one in this world could even possibly come close to understanding what you are going through, reaches its peak.

Then comes the realization that everybody in this world goes through similar cycles of feelings no matter how physically fit they are. The one thing that I've learnt is that it is impossible to prevent depression. Depression is like the flu or common cold. You can cure it temporarily but only after it strikes. You can reduce chances of occurrence but you can never block it out. One of the best cures I've found is a dose of best friends and a good nights rest. These friends are people who know you well enough to understand the origins your psychotic tendencies and to make sense of whatever incessant nonsense you share with them. And sleep can do wonders because when you wake up, it always feels like you've pressed the reset button of a game.

Another way is to look at life from a bigger perspective. And now for some cliché lines from Glen Padua, also partly inspired by VSauce.

"You and I are insignificant in this universe. When alive, we are remembered by a handful of people and after death we slowly fade away from memory and in a few generations we probably will never even be thought of. I don't think any of us remember the name of our Great Great Grandfather. So the best thing to do, is to live life in the moment and in the process make the people around you happy. When you're having fun it doesn't matter if that person is Mother Teresa or Osama. All that matters is making that moment count. And with a thousand of these moments you build a memory. And with thousands of memories you've made a life worth living."  
Writing down your thoughts really does wonders. Also on a side note, in the process of writing this I just got the news that one of my classmate's mother just passed away. May she rest in peace.

I have loads more to cover actually, things that happened over the year. I will try to be more active which I have failed to do so with my busy schedule and all. More on that in the next post!    

1 comment:

  1. Hey Glen, during days like these, go out in your crutches. I do that often when my skin cannot handle my prosthesis.
    Go out on dates on crutches. Let people be more understanding and affectionate and understand your real problems.
    I myself go out with guys sometimes on my crutches and sometimes in my shorts. I let them sink in my disability. If they can't, well they dont deserve me.
    You write very well, keep writing. hoping to see more of you in this space.